According to a known computer security researcher, Microsoft's SmartScreen feature implemented in Windows 8 reports information to Microsoft about every application installed, in an insecure manner
Known computer security researcher Nadim Kobeissi has posted up some interesting information on the behavior of Windows 8 whenever you install an application. According to some quick researching he did, the Windows SmartScreen feature reports every application a user installs to Microsoft, and does so in a way that could be intercepted by malicious hackers.
The Windows SmartScreen feature is enabled by default and is designed to tell end users whether the application they have downloaded from the internet is safe to install on their machine. It does this by gathering some info upon opening the installer, sending it to Microsoft and then waiting for a response to see if said installer has a valid certificate. As Kobeissi mentions, this means information about every single application downloaded and installed is sent to Microsoft.
He dug further to discover the information sent could potentially be intercepted by a malicious hacker, as Microsoft uses an "outdated and insecure" method of HTTPS encrypted communications. If a hacker did manage to steal all the information on a user's application installation habits, they could make a profile of the user and use that to find other exploitable weaknesses.
The issue with SmartScreen is currently only prevalent in Windows 8 as it's the first time Microsoft has integrated SmartScreen at an OS level (Windows 7 only features SmartScreen in applications like Internet Explorer). You can disable SmartScreen so you are no longer reporting your installation habits to Microsoft, but this is apparently not easy to do and results in periodic nags to re-enable it.
Chances are Microsoft will not do anything about their implementation of SmartScreen, so as it stands now it could be a privacy and security risk.
So stick to windows 7 or earlier..OK
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Showing posts with label Personal. Show all posts
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War of 1812: a new Canadian-ness
War of 1812: Violence, glory and a new Canadian-ness
Canada today is often erroneously seen as a harmonious nation of hockey, mounties and maple leaves, in peaceful contrast to its often fractious and noisy neighbour to the south. But Canadian-ness itself was born amid the blood, gunpowder and glory of the War of 1812, writes Grant Stoddard.
As a British-born newcomer to Canada, I've observed that often Canadians see their Canadian-ness as the sum total of their shared values, interests and beliefs.
By contrast, in other countries and places national identity is more typically linked to battles, popular uprisings and improbable triumphs in the face of adversity: the Boston Tea Party, the storming of the Bastille, the October Revolution etc.
This led me to assume that while Canada is a wonderful place to live, it lacked a rousing origin story.
Imagine my surprise when I discovered that the story of the birth of Canadian-ness - which began 200 years ago this week - is as rollicking, bloody, stirring and inspiring as they come.
Canadians famously cannot bring themselves (not all by a long chalk) to brag, so I am taking it upon myself to recount the series of events that paved the long road to Canadian nationhood.
In the years after the American Revolution, Britain set about creating a mirror-state to the north of the 13 rebellious former colonies. Hoping in part to entice the US back into the empire, Britain aimed to demonstrate that life in North America could be happier and more stable under her administration.
There were challenges: the territory in what is now Canada was rugged, under-developed and thinly populated. Furthermore, the main groups of people living there did not like each another very much.
First Nations tribes resented the unrelenting European expansion into the heart of the continent. Disaffected French Catholics had settled along the St Lawrence River in the early 1600s and remained after Britain finally wrested control of Canada from France in 1763. British inhabitants of Nova Scotia, known as the "14th Colony", had not joined their sister colonies in revolt.
"Some Canadians were uninterested in receiving liberty and prosperity at the point of an American sword. So they took up arms”
And tens of thousands relocated north after the American War of Independence: refugee crown loyalists and former black slaves rewarded with their freedom for fighting alongside the British.
The new arrivals were so numerous that Britain carved a new colony - New Brunswick - out of Nova Scotia to accommodate them. Yet even after the influx, the US still had about 20 times the population of what was now called British North America.
The British government encouraged even more immigration from the US by offering free land and low taxes. These opportunist migrants, who had little loyalty to the British crown, were euphemistically called the Late Loyalists.
At the dawn of the 19th Century, what is now Canada was no melting pot or even patchwork quilt but rather a hodgepodge of disparate groups who held wildly varying opinions on British rule and American republicanism and a deep distrust of one another.
By 1812, with the British embroiled in war with France, US hawks moved to take advantage of their northern neighbour's disunity, finish the job of the revolution and kick the British off the North American continent once and for all.
Proponents of war were confident that the fractious Canadians would greet US forces as liberators, with former President Thomas Jefferson quipping that annexing the vast territory would be "a mere matter of marching" and could be completed within a few months.
One of the leaders of the invasion force was US General William Hull, a 58-year-old veteran of the revolution who had been reluctant to take part.
He promised the Canadians liberty and prosperity, while also threatening "instant destruction" and a "war of extermination" at the first whiff of collusion between the Canadians and the natives.
Though some Canadians took heed, others, regardless of their allegiances, were uninterested in receiving liberty and prosperity at the point of an American sword.
'So they took up arms.'
'Bravery and patriotism'
In battles on both sides of the border, vastly outnumbered Canadian militiamen, British regular troops and First Nations warriors inspired by Shawnee warrior Tecumseh overcame the Americans.
A force led by British Maj Gen Isaac Brock and Tecumseh captured Detroit from Gen Hull, taking almost 2,500 American regulars and militiamen captive with only 300 hundred British regulars, 400 Canadian militiamen and 600 natives.
At the Battle of the Chateauguay near Montreal, French Canadians repelled a US attack. Under the leadership of Charles de Salaberry, 50 regulars, 400 volunteers, 900 militiamen and 180 Mohawks drove off 4,000-strong US force.
Despite their difficult history with British rule, Les Canadiens had proved their bravery and patriotism beyond a doubt.
Their victory inspired yet another improbable defence of Canada just over two weeks later at the Battle of Crysler's Farm, in which 900 British regulars and Canadian militiamen repulsed 8,000 US troops.
By the war's end, both York (now Toronto) and Washington DC had been put to the torch by invaders; the British bombardment of Ft McHenry in Baltimore had inspired a new national anthem; and Gen Andrew Jackson had routed the British Army at the Battle of New Orleans.
But the map of North America had hardly changed.
Three native men who fought with the British, photographed in 1882 Canada's First Nations tribes' hopes for an independent state died after the War of 1812; above, three men who fought with the British, photographed in 1882
The US withdrew to well within the boundaries of the 13 colonies. Inexperienced British diplomats gave away her territorial gains at the negotiating table, while bullish and skilled US negotiators rejected the British-backed idea of an independent "buffer state" for the indigenous tribes between the US and British North America.
This betrayal of the natives hastened the demise of native autonomy in North America, as the US turned its attention from annexing lands in the north to pushing west toward the Pacific Ocean.
The War of 1812 was declared in Washington 200 years ago yesterday.
The British and Americans drew and the natives lost, leaving the fledgling Canadians with the best claim to victory.
In the spirited defence of their way of life, they surprised both the invaders and one another with their resourcefulness, co-operation and tenacity in the face of an invasion force with an overwhelming numerical advantage.
In that sense, their struggle was not unlike the American Revolution a generation earlier.
What Canadian-ness actually means continues to evolve and remains a perennial topic of discussion both domestically and internationally.
Nevertheless, its beginnings can be traced back to 18 June 1812, when her fractious inhabitants stood together against subjugation by a foreign power.
The 33.5 million people living in Canada today - fully one-fifth of whom are foreign-born - have this patchwork vanguard to thank for their country's steady path to progressive prosperity.
Canada never rejected the British Crown as America did, and remains a loyal part of the Commonwealth
Canada today is often erroneously seen as a harmonious nation of hockey, mounties and maple leaves, in peaceful contrast to its often fractious and noisy neighbour to the south. But Canadian-ness itself was born amid the blood, gunpowder and glory of the War of 1812, writes Grant Stoddard.
As a British-born newcomer to Canada, I've observed that often Canadians see their Canadian-ness as the sum total of their shared values, interests and beliefs.
By contrast, in other countries and places national identity is more typically linked to battles, popular uprisings and improbable triumphs in the face of adversity: the Boston Tea Party, the storming of the Bastille, the October Revolution etc.
This led me to assume that while Canada is a wonderful place to live, it lacked a rousing origin story.
Imagine my surprise when I discovered that the story of the birth of Canadian-ness - which began 200 years ago this week - is as rollicking, bloody, stirring and inspiring as they come.
Canadians famously cannot bring themselves (not all by a long chalk) to brag, so I am taking it upon myself to recount the series of events that paved the long road to Canadian nationhood.
In the years after the American Revolution, Britain set about creating a mirror-state to the north of the 13 rebellious former colonies. Hoping in part to entice the US back into the empire, Britain aimed to demonstrate that life in North America could be happier and more stable under her administration.
There were challenges: the territory in what is now Canada was rugged, under-developed and thinly populated. Furthermore, the main groups of people living there did not like each another very much.
First Nations tribes resented the unrelenting European expansion into the heart of the continent. Disaffected French Catholics had settled along the St Lawrence River in the early 1600s and remained after Britain finally wrested control of Canada from France in 1763. British inhabitants of Nova Scotia, known as the "14th Colony", had not joined their sister colonies in revolt.
"Some Canadians were uninterested in receiving liberty and prosperity at the point of an American sword. So they took up arms”
And tens of thousands relocated north after the American War of Independence: refugee crown loyalists and former black slaves rewarded with their freedom for fighting alongside the British.
The new arrivals were so numerous that Britain carved a new colony - New Brunswick - out of Nova Scotia to accommodate them. Yet even after the influx, the US still had about 20 times the population of what was now called British North America.
The British government encouraged even more immigration from the US by offering free land and low taxes. These opportunist migrants, who had little loyalty to the British crown, were euphemistically called the Late Loyalists.
At the dawn of the 19th Century, what is now Canada was no melting pot or even patchwork quilt but rather a hodgepodge of disparate groups who held wildly varying opinions on British rule and American republicanism and a deep distrust of one another.
By 1812, with the British embroiled in war with France, US hawks moved to take advantage of their northern neighbour's disunity, finish the job of the revolution and kick the British off the North American continent once and for all.
Proponents of war were confident that the fractious Canadians would greet US forces as liberators, with former President Thomas Jefferson quipping that annexing the vast territory would be "a mere matter of marching" and could be completed within a few months.
One of the leaders of the invasion force was US General William Hull, a 58-year-old veteran of the revolution who had been reluctant to take part.
He promised the Canadians liberty and prosperity, while also threatening "instant destruction" and a "war of extermination" at the first whiff of collusion between the Canadians and the natives.
Though some Canadians took heed, others, regardless of their allegiances, were uninterested in receiving liberty and prosperity at the point of an American sword.
'So they took up arms.'
'Bravery and patriotism'
In battles on both sides of the border, vastly outnumbered Canadian militiamen, British regular troops and First Nations warriors inspired by Shawnee warrior Tecumseh overcame the Americans.
A force led by British Maj Gen Isaac Brock and Tecumseh captured Detroit from Gen Hull, taking almost 2,500 American regulars and militiamen captive with only 300 hundred British regulars, 400 Canadian militiamen and 600 natives.
At the Battle of the Chateauguay near Montreal, French Canadians repelled a US attack. Under the leadership of Charles de Salaberry, 50 regulars, 400 volunteers, 900 militiamen and 180 Mohawks drove off 4,000-strong US force.
Despite their difficult history with British rule, Les Canadiens had proved their bravery and patriotism beyond a doubt.
Their victory inspired yet another improbable defence of Canada just over two weeks later at the Battle of Crysler's Farm, in which 900 British regulars and Canadian militiamen repulsed 8,000 US troops.
By the war's end, both York (now Toronto) and Washington DC had been put to the torch by invaders; the British bombardment of Ft McHenry in Baltimore had inspired a new national anthem; and Gen Andrew Jackson had routed the British Army at the Battle of New Orleans.
But the map of North America had hardly changed.
Three native men who fought with the British, photographed in 1882 Canada's First Nations tribes' hopes for an independent state died after the War of 1812; above, three men who fought with the British, photographed in 1882
The US withdrew to well within the boundaries of the 13 colonies. Inexperienced British diplomats gave away her territorial gains at the negotiating table, while bullish and skilled US negotiators rejected the British-backed idea of an independent "buffer state" for the indigenous tribes between the US and British North America.
This betrayal of the natives hastened the demise of native autonomy in North America, as the US turned its attention from annexing lands in the north to pushing west toward the Pacific Ocean.
The War of 1812 was declared in Washington 200 years ago yesterday.
The British and Americans drew and the natives lost, leaving the fledgling Canadians with the best claim to victory.
In the spirited defence of their way of life, they surprised both the invaders and one another with their resourcefulness, co-operation and tenacity in the face of an invasion force with an overwhelming numerical advantage.
In that sense, their struggle was not unlike the American Revolution a generation earlier.
What Canadian-ness actually means continues to evolve and remains a perennial topic of discussion both domestically and internationally.
Nevertheless, its beginnings can be traced back to 18 June 1812, when her fractious inhabitants stood together against subjugation by a foreign power.
The 33.5 million people living in Canada today - fully one-fifth of whom are foreign-born - have this patchwork vanguard to thank for their country's steady path to progressive prosperity.
Canada never rejected the British Crown as America did, and remains a loyal part of the Commonwealth
Will we ever learn?
In the last decade or so of my life, in my humble opinion incompetent and sometimes cowardly leadership has done more to change the face of our world than perhaps in any other time in my short time on earth. Recent,in my view, badly managed events like Hurricane Katrina and the war in Iraq have proven that blind faith in our rulers is more than foolish--it can be downright dangerous.
The world possibly has grown more complicated and more volatile, and it follows that making intelligent decisions about the people in charge has never been more crucial. The quality of discernment ( insight and good judgment ) is often missing after the election of such persons. The 'spin' works for sure.
What causes us to follow bad leaders and how can we stop it? The answer in Canada is simple: ~Public Apathy~
If we want better leaders, we need to become better informed I personally use the GOYA technique and need more demanding knowledgeable followers. The realm of 'Animal Farm' which in my view has a civic address in Nova Scotia, must cease
I would love to have the support of a 'free press' ......... a free and independent press that is. I am still looking in Canada. It should be one Canada's best protections from being taken in by unscrupulous leaders ......... if we had one.?
I personally find it so difficult here in the Nova Scotia province of Canada to find out important breakdown details about almost any subject matter As an example, the actual method of calculating the price of Gas is almost impossible to find out. It seems that everything is in place but nothing is available. The veneer covers it all. Try it yourself ask for a clear method. This is my challenge to readers.
If incompetence were all we had to worry about when it came to bad political leaders, we could count ourselves lucky. But bad leaders are frequently dangerous, even deadly. After all most of these leaders who are 'pillars of society' are well off often legally and financially trained professionals who in fact make the laws that make themselves so dangerous. An enigma..a paradox?.. You choose.
Just ask the survivors of America’s Katrina disaster or visit graves relating to the Haitian disaster aftermath, about the amount of damage incompetent leadership can cause. Ask the people of Afghanistan and of Vietnam and perhaps Korea.. the list goes on. and closer to home Ask the people who have lost life-time investments because of poor government decisions, poor expensive laws and 'greed' with poor government fiscal management with zero accountability. Ask the long growing line of the unemployed and the waiting lines in hospital corridors and waiting rooms.
In Canada ask the elderly. Ask the First Nations people.. Oh Canada
We are living in a world where right and wrong are not polar opposites but only shades of difference. Thinking is required. The seemingly obvious course of action is often wrong. What’s certain on the surface is often an illusion. Dogma leads to despair. We are living in an age when measured action is a necessity. But how do we measure it. Should this change if we are unhappy with the current methodology Intelligence isn’t a luxury. I pray that We’ve used up our stupid quotient. It is time to get it right. We must cast away all the things that get in the way of knowledge.We must set our sights on a higher purpose, built upon facts, new science, and just plain smarts.
The world is no longer a simple place. It is interconnected, unpredictable, and speeding toward who knows where. Events seemingly of any nature are driven out of control, and to a large extent they are. The spin cloud cover is magic.
I truly believe we must educate the young to be devoted to true knowledge and not superstition, to enlightenment and not ignorance, to inclusion and not rejection, to reality and not blind faith, and to honesty and transparency by our leaders with powerful audit facilities to measure the actions of both failures and successes.
We need to believe in ourselves again. We need leaders who measure up.We must demand much more of those who say, ”Follow me.”
We want( but do we need) to enhance our self-esteem and sense of self-worth. How about self compassion insteaad ? We want a sense of competence, power, achievement, and confidence that we can cope with and exercise control over our environment and governments.
Our leaders of course fulfill this WANT feeling and tell us 'by voting for them that this 'WANT' will come to to be'..yeh...?
I feel our leaders are more often than not, Narcissistic? an 'asset' that enables the “mirror hungry” person to rise in organizations, society, and politics. If this is so then its is not hard to see why such people are generally so successful. After all, they:
* Exhibit high levels of self-confidence that people equate with competence.
* Have an infectious enthusiasm.
* Have an unrelenting drive for power.
* Are good at office politics.
* Are frequently charming.
* Build large numbers of quick, albeit superficial, relationships.
* Are able to make quick decisions with seeming ease.
* Have especially in Canada, Machiavellian “street smarts”when it comes to getting their way.
We must diligently employ Kipling's 'Poem'
“I keep six honest serving men
(They taught me all I knew);
Their names are What and Why and When
And How and Where and Who.”
And we must insist on an answers based on real truth, not empty rhetoric. Don’t just tell us that the torch has been passed to a new generation. Tell us what you intend to do with the torch. Words aren’t enough. We want a clear and practical path to tomorrow.
In my opinion Canada needs a method like some USA states to be able rescind any leader if they do wrong or are not able to carry out the promises they made or they downright lied.
It’s time to send a message to corrupt politicians, incompetent bureaucrats, and all those who assume power and then abuse it that we won’t take their failures and betrayal anymore. We all fail at times, its the way of life but to cover it up and deny it is wrong. These people in my view have no conscience so they are able to sleep every night.!
If you are sick of being misled by politicians who promise much and deliver little, this blog is for you.
If you are tired of being seduced by the imagery of false prophets and
tricked by those who exploit corrupt influence for personal gain, this blog is for you.
If you are tired of leaders enriching themselves and that includes in Nova Scotia misappropriation* at your expense, this blog is for you.
If you are tired of voting for change and getting only more of the same, this book is for you.
If you are tired of members of Parliaments and the Senior ministers putting
politics ahead of voters’ concerns and country needs, this blog is for you.
If you are ready to make your leaders and I include clergy, and myriads
all those others who proclaim they are “in charge,” your servant rather than your savior...then this blog is for you.
Lets find out - cost out and then cast out the many leechers. We can not afford them bureaucrats?.
Do you know who these bureaucrats are fellow Canadians? ...Lets make a list.. please contact me..
It wasn’t always that way .. Canada..
In law, misappropriation is the intentional, illegal use of the property or funds of another person for one's own use or other unauthorized purpose.
More to come...
The world possibly has grown more complicated and more volatile, and it follows that making intelligent decisions about the people in charge has never been more crucial. The quality of discernment ( insight and good judgment ) is often missing after the election of such persons. The 'spin' works for sure.
What causes us to follow bad leaders and how can we stop it? The answer in Canada is simple: ~Public Apathy~
If we want better leaders, we need to become better informed I personally use the GOYA technique and need more demanding knowledgeable followers. The realm of 'Animal Farm' which in my view has a civic address in Nova Scotia, must cease
I would love to have the support of a 'free press' ......... a free and independent press that is. I am still looking in Canada. It should be one Canada's best protections from being taken in by unscrupulous leaders ......... if we had one.?
I personally find it so difficult here in the Nova Scotia province of Canada to find out important breakdown details about almost any subject matter As an example, the actual method of calculating the price of Gas is almost impossible to find out. It seems that everything is in place but nothing is available. The veneer covers it all. Try it yourself ask for a clear method. This is my challenge to readers.
If incompetence were all we had to worry about when it came to bad political leaders, we could count ourselves lucky. But bad leaders are frequently dangerous, even deadly. After all most of these leaders who are 'pillars of society' are well off often legally and financially trained professionals who in fact make the laws that make themselves so dangerous. An enigma..a paradox?.. You choose.
Just ask the survivors of America’s Katrina disaster or visit graves relating to the Haitian disaster aftermath, about the amount of damage incompetent leadership can cause. Ask the people of Afghanistan and of Vietnam and perhaps Korea.. the list goes on. and closer to home Ask the people who have lost life-time investments because of poor government decisions, poor expensive laws and 'greed' with poor government fiscal management with zero accountability. Ask the long growing line of the unemployed and the waiting lines in hospital corridors and waiting rooms.
In Canada ask the elderly. Ask the First Nations people.. Oh Canada
We are living in a world where right and wrong are not polar opposites but only shades of difference. Thinking is required. The seemingly obvious course of action is often wrong. What’s certain on the surface is often an illusion. Dogma leads to despair. We are living in an age when measured action is a necessity. But how do we measure it. Should this change if we are unhappy with the current methodology Intelligence isn’t a luxury. I pray that We’ve used up our stupid quotient. It is time to get it right. We must cast away all the things that get in the way of knowledge.We must set our sights on a higher purpose, built upon facts, new science, and just plain smarts.
The world is no longer a simple place. It is interconnected, unpredictable, and speeding toward who knows where. Events seemingly of any nature are driven out of control, and to a large extent they are. The spin cloud cover is magic.
I truly believe we must educate the young to be devoted to true knowledge and not superstition, to enlightenment and not ignorance, to inclusion and not rejection, to reality and not blind faith, and to honesty and transparency by our leaders with powerful audit facilities to measure the actions of both failures and successes.
We need to believe in ourselves again. We need leaders who measure up.We must demand much more of those who say, ”Follow me.”
We want( but do we need) to enhance our self-esteem and sense of self-worth. How about self compassion insteaad ? We want a sense of competence, power, achievement, and confidence that we can cope with and exercise control over our environment and governments.
Our leaders of course fulfill this WANT feeling and tell us 'by voting for them that this 'WANT' will come to to be'..yeh...?
I feel our leaders are more often than not, Narcissistic? an 'asset' that enables the “mirror hungry” person to rise in organizations, society, and politics. If this is so then its is not hard to see why such people are generally so successful. After all, they:
* Exhibit high levels of self-confidence that people equate with competence.
* Have an infectious enthusiasm.
* Have an unrelenting drive for power.
* Are good at office politics.
* Are frequently charming.
* Build large numbers of quick, albeit superficial, relationships.
* Are able to make quick decisions with seeming ease.
* Have especially in Canada, Machiavellian “street smarts”when it comes to getting their way.
We must diligently employ Kipling's 'Poem'
“I keep six honest serving men
(They taught me all I knew);
Their names are What and Why and When
And How and Where and Who.”
And we must insist on an answers based on real truth, not empty rhetoric. Don’t just tell us that the torch has been passed to a new generation. Tell us what you intend to do with the torch. Words aren’t enough. We want a clear and practical path to tomorrow.
In my opinion Canada needs a method like some USA states to be able rescind any leader if they do wrong or are not able to carry out the promises they made or they downright lied.
It’s time to send a message to corrupt politicians, incompetent bureaucrats, and all those who assume power and then abuse it that we won’t take their failures and betrayal anymore. We all fail at times, its the way of life but to cover it up and deny it is wrong. These people in my view have no conscience so they are able to sleep every night.!
If you are sick of being misled by politicians who promise much and deliver little, this blog is for you.
If you are tired of being seduced by the imagery of false prophets and
tricked by those who exploit corrupt influence for personal gain, this blog is for you.
If you are tired of leaders enriching themselves and that includes in Nova Scotia misappropriation* at your expense, this blog is for you.
If you are tired of voting for change and getting only more of the same, this book is for you.
If you are tired of members of Parliaments and the Senior ministers putting
politics ahead of voters’ concerns and country needs, this blog is for you.
If you are ready to make your leaders and I include clergy, and myriads
all those others who proclaim they are “in charge,” your servant rather than your savior...then this blog is for you.
Lets find out - cost out and then cast out the many leechers. We can not afford them bureaucrats?.
Do you know who these bureaucrats are fellow Canadians? ...Lets make a list.. please contact me..
It wasn’t always that way .. Canada..
In law, misappropriation is the intentional, illegal use of the property or funds of another person for one's own use or other unauthorized purpose.
More to come...
Michael Jackson make $1bn
Michael Jackson's estate has made more than $1bn (£677m) since his death a year ago, according to estimates by trade paper Billboard.
The magazine says Jackson's album sales have generated about $383m (£259m), while revenue from the film This Is It has hit nearly $400m (£271m).
Profits from publishing rights, licensing and touring are also included in the total.
A new recording contract is estimated to have made $31m (£21m) so far.
The Sony Music Entertainment deal will see 10 albums of the late singer's music released over the next seven years, including one of previously unreleased material.
The estate is guaranteed between $200m (£135m) and $250m (£169.5m) for the deal but Billboard believes approximately $31m (£21m) of this will have been paid in the last 12 months.
Publishing profits
Despite the This Is It tour never getting off the ground, revenue from tickets retained by fans as souvenirs and not refunded brought in about $6.5m (£4.4m), with merchandise raking in $5m (£3.4m), although concert promoter AEG has a cut of these profits.
Jackson's music publishing company, Mijac, currently has a value of around $150m (£102m), according to Billboard.
The magazine said Mijac could have generated as much as $50m (£33.9m) in the last year.
Jackson's estate also owns half of music publishing company, Sony/ATV.
Barry Massarsky of Massarsky Consulting estimated that Jackson's share of Sony/ATV's revenue is $80m (£54.3m) a year.
Other profits have come from DVD sales and rentals, downloads, royalties and ringtones.
Jackson died on 25 June last year at the age of 50.
The magazine says Jackson's album sales have generated about $383m (£259m), while revenue from the film This Is It has hit nearly $400m (£271m).
Profits from publishing rights, licensing and touring are also included in the total.
A new recording contract is estimated to have made $31m (£21m) so far.
The Sony Music Entertainment deal will see 10 albums of the late singer's music released over the next seven years, including one of previously unreleased material.
The estate is guaranteed between $200m (£135m) and $250m (£169.5m) for the deal but Billboard believes approximately $31m (£21m) of this will have been paid in the last 12 months.
Publishing profits
Despite the This Is It tour never getting off the ground, revenue from tickets retained by fans as souvenirs and not refunded brought in about $6.5m (£4.4m), with merchandise raking in $5m (£3.4m), although concert promoter AEG has a cut of these profits.
Jackson's music publishing company, Mijac, currently has a value of around $150m (£102m), according to Billboard.
The magazine said Mijac could have generated as much as $50m (£33.9m) in the last year.
Jackson's estate also owns half of music publishing company, Sony/ATV.
Barry Massarsky of Massarsky Consulting estimated that Jackson's share of Sony/ATV's revenue is $80m (£54.3m) a year.
Other profits have come from DVD sales and rentals, downloads, royalties and ringtones.
Jackson died on 25 June last year at the age of 50.
Respect Excercise
RESPECT
As far as I know this is the first time students have ever been asked how much they felt respected by their teacher on a scale of 0-10. The results are limited but extremely encouraging for those who believe it is possible to teach children without resorting to threats and punishment. I would like to see someone design a formal research study modeled after this example, and I would be happy to cooperate in the project.
The teacher starts his description of the process by saying:
"...I did the attendance, they listened to the announcements and then I took them to sports class, so I thought I'd do the respect thing when they came back from sports. So when they came back and had all gone to the bathroom and everything I gave them just a little work to do and then I said "I am going to chit-chat with you for a little while. We are going to talk about somethingI feel is really important. We are going to talk about respect. Then I started by asking "Can you tell me what it means to feel respected?... A few people spoke up. Instead of really defining it, they used examples. I think someone said something like not talking when someone else is talking...
So then I wanted to explain the difference between feeling respected and showing respect. So I asked them what it meant to show respect to someone else, and that is when it started getting easier for them and they started giving me more examples...
Then they didn't really quite understand what I said next. I asked whether respect was earned or whether it was demanded and forced. I could see they were having some trouble with that so I gave them the example that you gave me a long time ago about a man coming in the room and stealing a girl's purse. I said "would you respect that?," and they all said, "Noo!"
I said some teachers might tell you that it is a sign of respect to stand up when a stranger comes in the room, but you really don't know if he intends to steal someone's purse so he hasn't earned respect. I said the teacher might make you stand up, but that doesn't really mean that you respect the person.
I think then they started to get it. I tried to explain that respect is something you give someone voluntarily, but I don't think they understood the word "voluntarily" -- it seemed fuzzy. But I think the example helped clear up the difference.
And then I talked about the difference between doing something I ask because they respect me versus because I threaten them so they are afraid of me. They all seemed to get that pretty easily and laughed about it when I said, "What if I told you to stop talking or I would break your arm? Would you stop talking because you respected me?" Then I explained to them what mutual respect was and they seemed to understand that."
After that he told the kids that later he would ask them how much they felt respected by him, and he would tell them how much he felt respected by them. They said "okay."
So around 10 in the morning he stopped class to do the respect survey. He told them to hold up their fingers to show how much they felt respected by her. He said 10 fingers means the highest respect and two closed fists would equal zero.
To his surprise all the children held up all ten fingers. When he asked why, they gave him specific reasons such as "You don't write our name on the blackboard like the other teachers do when we are talking." "You come and help us when we have questions." "You don't yell at us or say you will send us to the principal." "You helped so-and-so when he couldn't understand something."
Then he asked if they wanted to know how muchshe felt respected by them. They said "yes." He said about a six. They looked very disappointed and they asked why it was so low. He told them that sometimes people were talking when he was talking or when others were asking questions, etc. He said "Do you think you can raise your scores?" They gave him an enthusiastic "Yes!"
Then he asked "Now how much do you feel respected by your classmates?" He got a wide variety of scores and asked the kids to explain their scores. They said things like "Well, so-and-so was pulling on my hair even when I asked him to stop it."
After lunch, he took another survey. He still received all tens. The students still had a wide range of scores for each other, but generally the scores were higher. When he told them he now felt respected by them an 8, they looked proud of themselves, but still were not satisfied. He asked if they thought the could raise it even higher, again he got a very enthusiastic "YES!"
He said from that moment on till the end of the day he had one of the quietest, most well-behaved classes he has ever taught. He said the children were self-monitoring each other. If someone talked too loudly, the others would motion to them to be quiet. He never did another survey because there was no need to. The children could sense how well they were doing, and it was clear they had risen to the occasion.
Art
As far as I know this is the first time students have ever been asked how much they felt respected by their teacher on a scale of 0-10. The results are limited but extremely encouraging for those who believe it is possible to teach children without resorting to threats and punishment. I would like to see someone design a formal research study modeled after this example, and I would be happy to cooperate in the project.
The teacher starts his description of the process by saying:
"...I did the attendance, they listened to the announcements and then I took them to sports class, so I thought I'd do the respect thing when they came back from sports. So when they came back and had all gone to the bathroom and everything I gave them just a little work to do and then I said "I am going to chit-chat with you for a little while. We are going to talk about somethingI feel is really important. We are going to talk about respect. Then I started by asking "Can you tell me what it means to feel respected?... A few people spoke up. Instead of really defining it, they used examples. I think someone said something like not talking when someone else is talking...
So then I wanted to explain the difference between feeling respected and showing respect. So I asked them what it meant to show respect to someone else, and that is when it started getting easier for them and they started giving me more examples...
Then they didn't really quite understand what I said next. I asked whether respect was earned or whether it was demanded and forced. I could see they were having some trouble with that so I gave them the example that you gave me a long time ago about a man coming in the room and stealing a girl's purse. I said "would you respect that?," and they all said, "Noo!"
I said some teachers might tell you that it is a sign of respect to stand up when a stranger comes in the room, but you really don't know if he intends to steal someone's purse so he hasn't earned respect. I said the teacher might make you stand up, but that doesn't really mean that you respect the person.
I think then they started to get it. I tried to explain that respect is something you give someone voluntarily, but I don't think they understood the word "voluntarily" -- it seemed fuzzy. But I think the example helped clear up the difference.
And then I talked about the difference between doing something I ask because they respect me versus because I threaten them so they are afraid of me. They all seemed to get that pretty easily and laughed about it when I said, "What if I told you to stop talking or I would break your arm? Would you stop talking because you respected me?" Then I explained to them what mutual respect was and they seemed to understand that."
After that he told the kids that later he would ask them how much they felt respected by him, and he would tell them how much he felt respected by them. They said "okay."
So around 10 in the morning he stopped class to do the respect survey. He told them to hold up their fingers to show how much they felt respected by her. He said 10 fingers means the highest respect and two closed fists would equal zero.
To his surprise all the children held up all ten fingers. When he asked why, they gave him specific reasons such as "You don't write our name on the blackboard like the other teachers do when we are talking." "You come and help us when we have questions." "You don't yell at us or say you will send us to the principal." "You helped so-and-so when he couldn't understand something."
Then he asked if they wanted to know how muchshe felt respected by them. They said "yes." He said about a six. They looked very disappointed and they asked why it was so low. He told them that sometimes people were talking when he was talking or when others were asking questions, etc. He said "Do you think you can raise your scores?" They gave him an enthusiastic "Yes!"
Then he asked "Now how much do you feel respected by your classmates?" He got a wide variety of scores and asked the kids to explain their scores. They said things like "Well, so-and-so was pulling on my hair even when I asked him to stop it."
After lunch, he took another survey. He still received all tens. The students still had a wide range of scores for each other, but generally the scores were higher. When he told them he now felt respected by them an 8, they looked proud of themselves, but still were not satisfied. He asked if they thought the could raise it even higher, again he got a very enthusiastic "YES!"
He said from that moment on till the end of the day he had one of the quietest, most well-behaved classes he has ever taught. He said the children were self-monitoring each other. If someone talked too loudly, the others would motion to them to be quiet. He never did another survey because there was no need to. The children could sense how well they were doing, and it was clear they had risen to the occasion.
Art
What they did not Teach me
Life things I was never taught in UK school.
They didn't teach me to be forgiving.
They didn't teach me that I could learn more from children and teenagers than I could from adults.
They didn't teach me to take children and teenagers' feelings seriously.
They didn't teach me the importance of traveling.
They didn't teach me to walk away from people who were hurting me, invalidating me, mocking me, judging me, disapproving of me.
They didn't teach me to walk away from people who were trying to control me, who were pressuring me or manipulating me.
They didn't teach me to be aware when someone was trying to do any of these things.
They never even mentioned any of these things.
Then didn't teach me the difference between deserved and undeserved guilt.
They didn't teach me about emotionally abusive parents Church, or teachers.
They didn't teach me what invalidation is.
They didn't teach me about drugs.
They didn't teach me how to live or live simply.
They didn't teach me what was really important in life and what was unnecessary.
They didn't teach me anything about the writing of any author.
They didn't teach me much, if anything, about world history.
They didn't teach me anything about Buddhism, Hinduism or any of the worlds non-Christian belief systems.
They didn't teach me anything about the writings of old
They didn't teach me anything about personal growth and self-help literature.
They didn't teach me to know myself.
They didn't teach me to identify my emotional needs.
They didn't teach me to believe in myself.
They didn't teach me to understand how my family was hurting me and using me to try to fill their unmet emotional needs.
They didn't teach me the names of my feelings.
They didn't teach me how to express my feelings with feeling words.
They didn't teach me anything about emotional literacy.
They didn't teach me that we are each primarily responsible for our own feelings and we have more control over them than most people realize.
They didn't teach me that it is healthy for me to write.
They didn't teach me anything about depression or why a teenager would want to kill themselves or cut themselves.
They didn't teach me how to listen.
They didn't teach me how to show understanding.
They didn't teach me anything about compassion.
They didn't teach me how to silently hug a crying child.
They didn't teach me that there is already too much competition in the world.
They didn't teach me to see the many ways people distract themselves and numb themselves from their feelings.
They didn't teach me the difference between fear and respect or respect and obedience.
They didn't teach me that making "good" grades doesn´t make someone a good person.
They didn't teach me to think about the difference between a good "Christian", (or a good "Muslim", "Jew" etc) and a good human being.
They didn't teach me that patriotism is not good for the world.
They didn't teach me that the word "good" is a very subjective word.
They didn't teach me about the messages in songs like John Lennon's "Imagine"
They didn't teach me anything at all about children of alcoholics.
They didn't teach me anything about emotional, verbal or psychological abuse.
They didn't teach me that people will try to use you in all kinds of ways, and that if you obey these people long enough, there will be nothing left of you.
They didn't teach me anything at all about love.
They didn't teach me that it feels good to help people.
They didn't teach me to follow my heart.
They taught me high grades were good
I FAILED
Art
They didn't teach me to be forgiving.
They didn't teach me that I could learn more from children and teenagers than I could from adults.
They didn't teach me to take children and teenagers' feelings seriously.
They didn't teach me the importance of traveling.
They didn't teach me to walk away from people who were hurting me, invalidating me, mocking me, judging me, disapproving of me.
They didn't teach me to walk away from people who were trying to control me, who were pressuring me or manipulating me.
They didn't teach me to be aware when someone was trying to do any of these things.
They never even mentioned any of these things.
Then didn't teach me the difference between deserved and undeserved guilt.
They didn't teach me about emotionally abusive parents Church, or teachers.
They didn't teach me what invalidation is.
They didn't teach me about drugs.
They didn't teach me how to live or live simply.
They didn't teach me what was really important in life and what was unnecessary.
They didn't teach me anything about the writing of any author.
They didn't teach me much, if anything, about world history.
They didn't teach me anything about Buddhism, Hinduism or any of the worlds non-Christian belief systems.
They didn't teach me anything about the writings of old
They didn't teach me anything about personal growth and self-help literature.
They didn't teach me to know myself.
They didn't teach me to identify my emotional needs.
They didn't teach me to believe in myself.
They didn't teach me to understand how my family was hurting me and using me to try to fill their unmet emotional needs.
They didn't teach me the names of my feelings.
They didn't teach me how to express my feelings with feeling words.
They didn't teach me anything about emotional literacy.
They didn't teach me that we are each primarily responsible for our own feelings and we have more control over them than most people realize.
They didn't teach me that it is healthy for me to write.
They didn't teach me anything about depression or why a teenager would want to kill themselves or cut themselves.
They didn't teach me how to listen.
They didn't teach me how to show understanding.
They didn't teach me anything about compassion.
They didn't teach me how to silently hug a crying child.
They didn't teach me that there is already too much competition in the world.
They didn't teach me to see the many ways people distract themselves and numb themselves from their feelings.
They didn't teach me the difference between fear and respect or respect and obedience.
They didn't teach me that making "good" grades doesn´t make someone a good person.
They didn't teach me to think about the difference between a good "Christian", (or a good "Muslim", "Jew" etc) and a good human being.
They didn't teach me that patriotism is not good for the world.
They didn't teach me that the word "good" is a very subjective word.
They didn't teach me about the messages in songs like John Lennon's "Imagine"
They didn't teach me anything at all about children of alcoholics.
They didn't teach me anything about emotional, verbal or psychological abuse.
They didn't teach me that people will try to use you in all kinds of ways, and that if you obey these people long enough, there will be nothing left of you.
They didn't teach me anything at all about love.
They didn't teach me that it feels good to help people.
They didn't teach me to follow my heart.
They taught me high grades were good
I FAILED
Art
Relationship Needs
Basic Needs in Relationships
After collecting a lifetime of baggage in all its forms we may at times no longer have a clear idea of what a healthy relationship is like. Often we allow people into our lives who treat us as we expect to be treated.
No one intends to be in an abusive relationship, but individuals who were verbally abused by a parent or other significant person often find themselves in similar situations as an adult. If a parent tended to define your experiences and emotions, and judge your behaviors, you may not have learned how to set your own standards, develop your own viewpoints and validate your own feeling and perceptions.
Consequently, the controlling and defining stance taken by an emotional abuser may feel familiar or even conformable to you, although it is destructive you feel you can contol it. It may be that you deliberatly set out to search for and make happen. A comfort ZONE.
If we feel contempt for ourselves or think very little of ourselves, we may pick partners or significant others who reflect this image back to us.
If we are willing to tolerate negative treatment from others, or treat others in negative ways, it is very possible that we also treat ourselves similarly.
If you are an abuser or a recipient, you may want to consider how you treat yourself. What sorts of things do you say and do to yourself?
Do thoughts such as "I'm stupid" or "I never do anything right" dominate your thinking? Learning to love and care for ourselves increases self-esteem and makes it more likely that we will have healthy, intimate relationships. The word need can be replaced with 'right'
BASIC NEEDS
* The need for good will from the others.
* The need for emotional support.
* The need to be responded to with respect and acceptance
* The need to have your own view, even if others have a different view.
* The need to have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real.
* The need to receive a sincere apology for anything said offensively.
* The need for clear, honest answers to questions about what affects you.
* The need to for freedom from accusation, interrogation and blame.
* The need to live free from criticism and judgment.
* The need to have your work and your interests respected.
* The need for encouragement.
* The need for freedom from emotional and physical threat.
* The need for freedom from from angry outburst and rage.
* The need for freedom from labels which devalue you.
* The need to be respectfully asked rather than ordered.
* The need to have your final decisions accepted.
* The need for privacy at times.
Other Characteristics of abused people are:
* Feelings of low self- esteem (This is a result of being criticized too often as children and teenagers.)
* We perpetuate these parental messages by judging ourselves and others harshly. We try to cover up our poor opinions of ourselves by being perfectionistic, controlling, contemptuous and gossipy.
* We tend to isolate ourselves out of fear and we feel often uneasy around other people, especially authority figures.
* We are desperate for love and approval and will do anything to make people like us. Not wanting to hurt others, we remain "loyal" in situations and relationships even when evidence indicates our loyalty is undeserved.
* We are afraid of losing others.
* We are afraid of being abandoned.
* It is difficult for us to "let go."
* We are intimidated by angry people and personal criticism. This adds to our feelings of inadequacy and insecurity.
* We continue to attract emotionally unavailable people with addictive personalities.
* We live life as victims, blaming others for our circumstances, and are attracted to other victims (and people with power) as friends and lovers. We confuse love with pity and tend to "love" people we can pity and rescue. And we confuse love with need.
* We are either super-responsible or super-irresponsible. We take responsibility for solving others' problems or expect others to be responsible for solving ours. This enables us to avoid being responsible for our own lives and choices.
* We feel guilty when we stand up for ourselves or act in our own best interests. We give in to others' needs and opinions instead of taking care of ourselves.
* We deny, minimize or repress our feelings as a result of our traumatic childhoods. We are unaware of the impact that our inability to identify and express our feelings has had on our adult lives.
* We are dependent personalities who are so terrified of rejection or abandonment that we tend to stay in situations or relationships that are harmful to us. Our fears and dependency stop us form ending unfulfilling relationships and prevent us from entering into fulfilling ones. Because we feel so unlovable it is difficult or impossible to believe anyone can really love us, and won't eventually leave us once they see how "bad" we are.
* Denial, isolation, control, shame, and undeserved guilt are legacies from our family. As a result of these symptoms, we feel hopeless and helpless.
* We have difficulty with intimacy, security, trust, and commitment in our relationships. Lacking clearly defined personal limits and boundaries, we become enmeshed in our partner's needs and emotions. We often become codependent.
* We tend to procrastinate and have difficulty following project through from beginning to end.
* We have a strong need to be in control. We overreact to change things over which we have no control.
Art Elliott 2010
After collecting a lifetime of baggage in all its forms we may at times no longer have a clear idea of what a healthy relationship is like. Often we allow people into our lives who treat us as we expect to be treated.
No one intends to be in an abusive relationship, but individuals who were verbally abused by a parent or other significant person often find themselves in similar situations as an adult. If a parent tended to define your experiences and emotions, and judge your behaviors, you may not have learned how to set your own standards, develop your own viewpoints and validate your own feeling and perceptions.
Consequently, the controlling and defining stance taken by an emotional abuser may feel familiar or even conformable to you, although it is destructive you feel you can contol it. It may be that you deliberatly set out to search for and make happen. A comfort ZONE.
If we feel contempt for ourselves or think very little of ourselves, we may pick partners or significant others who reflect this image back to us.
If we are willing to tolerate negative treatment from others, or treat others in negative ways, it is very possible that we also treat ourselves similarly.
If you are an abuser or a recipient, you may want to consider how you treat yourself. What sorts of things do you say and do to yourself?
Do thoughts such as "I'm stupid" or "I never do anything right" dominate your thinking? Learning to love and care for ourselves increases self-esteem and makes it more likely that we will have healthy, intimate relationships. The word need can be replaced with 'right'
BASIC NEEDS
* The need for good will from the others.
* The need for emotional support.
* The need to be responded to with respect and acceptance
* The need to have your own view, even if others have a different view.
* The need to have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real.
* The need to receive a sincere apology for anything said offensively.
* The need for clear, honest answers to questions about what affects you.
* The need to for freedom from accusation, interrogation and blame.
* The need to live free from criticism and judgment.
* The need to have your work and your interests respected.
* The need for encouragement.
* The need for freedom from emotional and physical threat.
* The need for freedom from from angry outburst and rage.
* The need for freedom from labels which devalue you.
* The need to be respectfully asked rather than ordered.
* The need to have your final decisions accepted.
* The need for privacy at times.
Other Characteristics of abused people are:
* Feelings of low self- esteem (This is a result of being criticized too often as children and teenagers.)
* We perpetuate these parental messages by judging ourselves and others harshly. We try to cover up our poor opinions of ourselves by being perfectionistic, controlling, contemptuous and gossipy.
* We tend to isolate ourselves out of fear and we feel often uneasy around other people, especially authority figures.
* We are desperate for love and approval and will do anything to make people like us. Not wanting to hurt others, we remain "loyal" in situations and relationships even when evidence indicates our loyalty is undeserved.
* We are afraid of losing others.
* We are afraid of being abandoned.
* It is difficult for us to "let go."
* We are intimidated by angry people and personal criticism. This adds to our feelings of inadequacy and insecurity.
* We continue to attract emotionally unavailable people with addictive personalities.
* We live life as victims, blaming others for our circumstances, and are attracted to other victims (and people with power) as friends and lovers. We confuse love with pity and tend to "love" people we can pity and rescue. And we confuse love with need.
* We are either super-responsible or super-irresponsible. We take responsibility for solving others' problems or expect others to be responsible for solving ours. This enables us to avoid being responsible for our own lives and choices.
* We feel guilty when we stand up for ourselves or act in our own best interests. We give in to others' needs and opinions instead of taking care of ourselves.
* We deny, minimize or repress our feelings as a result of our traumatic childhoods. We are unaware of the impact that our inability to identify and express our feelings has had on our adult lives.
* We are dependent personalities who are so terrified of rejection or abandonment that we tend to stay in situations or relationships that are harmful to us. Our fears and dependency stop us form ending unfulfilling relationships and prevent us from entering into fulfilling ones. Because we feel so unlovable it is difficult or impossible to believe anyone can really love us, and won't eventually leave us once they see how "bad" we are.
* Denial, isolation, control, shame, and undeserved guilt are legacies from our family. As a result of these symptoms, we feel hopeless and helpless.
* We have difficulty with intimacy, security, trust, and commitment in our relationships. Lacking clearly defined personal limits and boundaries, we become enmeshed in our partner's needs and emotions. We often become codependent.
* We tend to procrastinate and have difficulty following project through from beginning to end.
* We have a strong need to be in control. We overreact to change things over which we have no control.
Art Elliott 2010
Respect
RESPECT:
When we are respected I believe we gain the voluntary cooperation of people. We don't have to use as much of our energy and resources trying to get our needs met. When people respect one another there are fewer conflicts. In summary, it is for both evolutionary and practical reasons that respect is important, and also why we simply feel better when we are respected. However I also believe we teach others how to treat us.
Where Respect Comes From
As I see it, and hence this blog is a very subjective and personal view, that respect is something that is earned. One earns another's respect by voluntarily doing things I mention throughout this blog, such as taking that person's feelings, needs and thoughts into consideration.
Respect seems to be like a boomerang in the sense that you must send it out before it will come back to you. Respect cannot be demanded or forced, though sometimes people mistakenly believe that it can, as I discuss below.
An Aside:
Just like a newborn baby has no concept of respect, and feels only its own needs when it is first born, I believe that the only successful way to teach a person what respect is, is to earn the respect of that person as they slowly grow into a thinking human being. In a happy nurturing household environment this is often a natural development. However in the situation of an adult who has never had these basic needs met then real latent issues with self and person respect may be just waitng to be shared?
The natural way outlined above is first of all by attending to the child's natural needs, such as to be fed and nurtured. As the child grows, their needs change. He or she has increasingly sophisticated psychological needs. He or she begins to express his own views, their own preferences, and he or she has an increasing need for freedom, autonomy and independence. This is when the adults in growing childs life can and should treat them with increasingly earned respect and thereby earn their respect in return.
It might not make sense to some to think of respecting a baby in the same way that we say we respect an adult. Yet on some level the two concepts are similar. This similarity has to do with our voluntarily helping that person with their needs. In either case, we must first accept the needs. For example, if a baby needs to be fed at three in the morning we don't do it begrudgingly if we respect his natural needs; we simply accept that the infant has a natural need to eat at that particular moment. Likewise, if a person needs to talk, we should accept this need and show respect by listening voluntarily.
Below are more specific ways to show and earn respect, particularly to an older child, adolescent or adult.
Showing and Earning Respect
Respecting someone means respecting their feelings and their survival needs. To make this work we have to make sure that the person is aware of and have some understanding of mutual respect issues.
Here are ways to show respect for someone's feelings:
* asking them how they feel
* validating their feelings
* empathizing with them
* seeking understanding of their feelings
* taking their feelings into consideration
To make this process work several things are required.
For examples:
1. Each person must be aware of their own feelings; i.e. know how they feel.
2. They must be able to express and understand their feelings.
3. They must know how to listen non-judgmentally & non-defensively.
4. They must know how to validate feelings.
5. They must believe that feelings have value including both negative or positive.
6. They must believe that feelings matter.
If respecting someone means respecting their feelings and their survival needs, then if a person does not respect your feelings, they don't respect you. If those persons during your development, in positions of power and authority, do not respect your needs and feelings, they will not earn your respect. This can be said to be a 'learned experience'
Here are I believe some specific ways to show respect:
* Asking others "How would you feel if..." before making a decision which affects them. Beware the actor.
* Voluntarily making changes and compromises to accommodate their feelings, desires and needs. Beware showing love weaknesses
* Not interrupting them even if they are 'digging themsleves deeper' let them do it. Be sure to understand why they might do this.
* Soliciting and allowing feedback. Trying to understand their beliefs, values and needs. Beware 'giving in' for the sake of peace reasons.
* Giving them the opportunity to solve their own problems without underestimating them, in particular:
Avoid telling them what to do. perhaps 'ask' if you can help.
Avoid telling them what they 'need' to or 'should do,suggestions may be better
Avoid giving them unsolicited advice, sermons and lectures
Remember in my view, that the most effective way of finding out how well your efforts are working is to simply ask, "On a scale of 0-10, how much do you feel respected by me?" If you have created a safe environment, you are likely to get an honest answer.
Then if it is lower than 10, you can ask, "What would help you feel more respected?" Then you have the specific information you need to improve your 'rating.' I have found that most people are more than willing to express themselves when asked such a question. And the answers are typically articulate, and often surprising.
Measuring Respect
A simple way to measure respect is to use the 0-10 scale suggested above. You can ask others, "On a scale of 0-10, how much do you feel respected by ____?" Such a clear, direct question has provided me with invaluable information since I started asking it several years ago. Here are some more questions to ponder:
* What would happen if customers, clients, and constituents were asked how much they felt respected by employees of businesses and government agencies?
* What if children and adolescents were asked how much they felt respected by their parents and teachers? What if someone took action based on the responses?
I believe respect is too important to go unmeasured in society. We track many other numbers, but so far, we don't track respect. I believe doing so would be a step in the right direction.
Art 2004
When we are respected I believe we gain the voluntary cooperation of people. We don't have to use as much of our energy and resources trying to get our needs met. When people respect one another there are fewer conflicts. In summary, it is for both evolutionary and practical reasons that respect is important, and also why we simply feel better when we are respected. However I also believe we teach others how to treat us.
Where Respect Comes From
As I see it, and hence this blog is a very subjective and personal view, that respect is something that is earned. One earns another's respect by voluntarily doing things I mention throughout this blog, such as taking that person's feelings, needs and thoughts into consideration.
Respect seems to be like a boomerang in the sense that you must send it out before it will come back to you. Respect cannot be demanded or forced, though sometimes people mistakenly believe that it can, as I discuss below.
An Aside:
Just like a newborn baby has no concept of respect, and feels only its own needs when it is first born, I believe that the only successful way to teach a person what respect is, is to earn the respect of that person as they slowly grow into a thinking human being. In a happy nurturing household environment this is often a natural development. However in the situation of an adult who has never had these basic needs met then real latent issues with self and person respect may be just waitng to be shared?
The natural way outlined above is first of all by attending to the child's natural needs, such as to be fed and nurtured. As the child grows, their needs change. He or she has increasingly sophisticated psychological needs. He or she begins to express his own views, their own preferences, and he or she has an increasing need for freedom, autonomy and independence. This is when the adults in growing childs life can and should treat them with increasingly earned respect and thereby earn their respect in return.
It might not make sense to some to think of respecting a baby in the same way that we say we respect an adult. Yet on some level the two concepts are similar. This similarity has to do with our voluntarily helping that person with their needs. In either case, we must first accept the needs. For example, if a baby needs to be fed at three in the morning we don't do it begrudgingly if we respect his natural needs; we simply accept that the infant has a natural need to eat at that particular moment. Likewise, if a person needs to talk, we should accept this need and show respect by listening voluntarily.
Below are more specific ways to show and earn respect, particularly to an older child, adolescent or adult.
Showing and Earning Respect
Respecting someone means respecting their feelings and their survival needs. To make this work we have to make sure that the person is aware of and have some understanding of mutual respect issues.
Here are ways to show respect for someone's feelings:
* asking them how they feel
* validating their feelings
* empathizing with them
* seeking understanding of their feelings
* taking their feelings into consideration
To make this process work several things are required.
For examples:
1. Each person must be aware of their own feelings; i.e. know how they feel.
2. They must be able to express and understand their feelings.
3. They must know how to listen non-judgmentally & non-defensively.
4. They must know how to validate feelings.
5. They must believe that feelings have value including both negative or positive.
6. They must believe that feelings matter.
If respecting someone means respecting their feelings and their survival needs, then if a person does not respect your feelings, they don't respect you. If those persons during your development, in positions of power and authority, do not respect your needs and feelings, they will not earn your respect. This can be said to be a 'learned experience'
Here are I believe some specific ways to show respect:
* Asking others "How would you feel if..." before making a decision which affects them. Beware the actor.
* Voluntarily making changes and compromises to accommodate their feelings, desires and needs. Beware showing love weaknesses
* Not interrupting them even if they are 'digging themsleves deeper' let them do it. Be sure to understand why they might do this.
* Soliciting and allowing feedback. Trying to understand their beliefs, values and needs. Beware 'giving in' for the sake of peace reasons.
* Giving them the opportunity to solve their own problems without underestimating them, in particular:
Avoid telling them what to do. perhaps 'ask' if you can help.
Avoid telling them what they 'need' to or 'should do,suggestions may be better
Avoid giving them unsolicited advice, sermons and lectures
Remember in my view, that the most effective way of finding out how well your efforts are working is to simply ask, "On a scale of 0-10, how much do you feel respected by me?" If you have created a safe environment, you are likely to get an honest answer.
Then if it is lower than 10, you can ask, "What would help you feel more respected?" Then you have the specific information you need to improve your 'rating.' I have found that most people are more than willing to express themselves when asked such a question. And the answers are typically articulate, and often surprising.
Measuring Respect
A simple way to measure respect is to use the 0-10 scale suggested above. You can ask others, "On a scale of 0-10, how much do you feel respected by ____?" Such a clear, direct question has provided me with invaluable information since I started asking it several years ago. Here are some more questions to ponder:
* What would happen if customers, clients, and constituents were asked how much they felt respected by employees of businesses and government agencies?
* What if children and adolescents were asked how much they felt respected by their parents and teachers? What if someone took action based on the responses?
I believe respect is too important to go unmeasured in society. We track many other numbers, but so far, we don't track respect. I believe doing so would be a step in the right direction.
Art 2004